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Welcome to the latest episode of Unlocking Your Greatness with Wendy Bjork.

As an international bestselling author, nationally syndicated columnist, inspirational speaker and founder of heartsofwellness.com, it is my mission to empower women to build a strong Foundation of Wellbeing: One Whole-istic™ Step at a Time. To feel HOPE: harmony, options, peace and empowerment to help others along the way.

How to Set Boundaries With People Close to You

Boundaries help you feel comfortable and safe, even when dealing with people close to you. They can also prevent you from making well-intentioned mistakes, such as oversharing or shaming others. But they don’t come naturally to everyone. Whether you’re a natural people pleaser who has a hard time saying no, or you have no idea how to set boundaries, it’s important to learn how to do so effectively.

Boundary-setting isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, and it can be particularly challenging when you have to deal with people who you care about. Luckily, there are steps you can take to make it easier, like setting up clear communication channels and establishing ground rules that both parties must agree to.

First, you must decide what type of boundary you want to establish. You may want to focus on soft or hard ones, both of which have different implications in the long run. Hard boundaries are non-negotiable and non-conforming, whereas soft ones are more flexible.

For instance, if you’re someone who feels uncomfortable with unexpected physical touch, you might set up a boundary that states you’d prefer handshakes instead of hugs. This will let your friends know that you are not a fan of physical contact and gives them the option to choose alternative ways to show their affection.

Another example would be a friend who makes you feel anxious or overwhelmed by constantly criticizing and questioning your choices. They may not realize they’re crossing a line, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to do so.

You might also find that you need to set up time-related boundaries, such as declining a party invite because you need to get to bed early so you can wake up for work the next day. Or, you could say no to your buddy who always wants to go to the gym after work and doesn’t understand that you need time to rest and recover.

Regardless of the type of boundary you’re setting, you must be prepared for pushback and resistance from the person you’re trying to communicate with. They may be used to getting their way with you, and they’re likely to take it personally if you start to put limits on how they treat you.

The best thing you can do to prepare for this is to explain your reasoning behind the boundary you’re establishing in advance. This can give them a chance to adjust their behavior before the conversation takes place, and it will demonstrate your thoughtfulness and respect for them.

Once you’ve set the boundaries, it’s crucial to be consistent with them. Otherwise, they’ll be up for interpretation and you’ll risk losing control of the situation. If you notice that you’re letting your boundaries slip, remind yourself why they’re so important to you and make sure to re-establish those lines as often as possible. With consistent communication and firm, respectful language, you’ll be on your way to more effective, satisfying relationships.

To support you on creating a path to your dream life, download your copy of the Hearts of Wellness 30-Day Journal + Blueprint Bundle Towards Living Your Best Life at heartsofwellness.com/you. It will support you in keeping your desired outcomes all in one place along with the Blueprint which will help you take small steps daily towards a better view of yourself. Benefit from improved self-talk, as well as writing your weekly gratitude list and celebrating your weekly wins. Discovering and living by your personalized playbook are important steps we can create together!

If you feel a self-paced approach with Wendy’s support would be helpful in reaching your goals, you can head over to the Hearts of Wellness Membership Collective and begin your journey back to simplicity, freedom and wholeness!

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